The surest way of knowing if one is infected with a sexually transmitted infection (STIs) is to go for a test at a health clinic or hospital. However the following are common signs of STIs in both women and men:

Signs in women:

• Itching around the vagina or discharge from the vagina
• Itching around the anal area or discharge from the anus
• Pain during sex or when urinating
• Sores, blisters, small hard growths or rashes on or around the vaginal or anal area
• Pain in pelvic area (the area below your belly button)

It is very important to know that many STIs have no early symptoms -especially in women - which is all the more reason to have regular check ups.

Signs in men:

• A discharge from the urethra (the tube that runs from the bladder to the tip of the penis) which is different from urine or semen (sperm)
• Pain during sex or when urinating
• Pain in or around penis, testicles or anus
• Sores, blisters, small hard growths, rashes, irritation or itching near the genitals or anus
• Pelvic or lower abdominal pain

Masturbation (sometimes called wanking) means using the hands to rub or massage the penis or the vagina (specifically the clitoris) to achieve a feeling of intense pleasure. There are lots of different ways of doing it but the outcome is usually the same – i.e. orgasm. Orgasm refers to the point of intense excitement in which the genital muscles enter into a series of highly pleasurable contractions, at which point a guy will ejaculate [cum] and a woman will experience enormous pleasure!

Whilst masturbation can involve another person, most people think of it as a very private act. Masturbation is a healthy way to express and explore your sexuality and to release sexual tension without all the associated risks of sexual intercourse. This act is a natural and normal mode of self-exploration and sexual expression.

Unfortunately, many people find themselves feeling guilty or shame as a result of masturbating. This is largely because we are told by parents, teachers, pastors and preachers that it is wrong. Our advice is to trust your own experience and put aside what other people say about sex and sexuality. You are able to make your own choices about what you feel is right and wrong and shouldn’t be made to feel guilty by anyone for doing something that almost everyone does – including those who say it is wrong!

Masturbation has no medical or psychological effects and will not damage you. As long as one is not doing it in appropriate places, and not fantasizing about unhealthy behaviors like rape, then it is healthy and normal part of sexuality and sexual expression – and 100% safe.

Firstly, BIG respect to you for protecting yourself and your boyf! Now, there are so many factors that can make a condom burst but mostly a condom bursts because it wasn’t used correctly. Some examples of this are:

• If the condom is not put on/worn properly
• If it’s expired
• If it is used with an oil based lubricant (like Vaseline).

So… This is how you use a condom CORRECTLY!

Step 1

• Check the expiry date, printed on the condom packaging
• Carefully open the packet being careful not to damage the condom. Avoid using sharp objects like scissors – also be careful if your finger nails are sharp!

Step 2

• Make sure the penis you are putting the condom onto is COMPLETELY hard! You won’t be able to put a condom on a soft or semi-hard penis!
• Hold the condom at the tip to remove the air to leave a space for the semen (sperm) then roll the condom down completely until the base of the condom

Step 3

• Hold the condom at the base of the penis as the penis enters the vagina or anus (if you are having anal sex then you should be using a water-based lubricant – see more below on ‘what is a lubricant?
• Remove the condom immediately after ejaculation (when the penis is still erect) using a tissue to avoid spillage.
• Dispose the condom safely, like in a pit latrine, bury or burn it. Don’t put it in the toilet.

Note:

• Don’t use more than one condom at a time – the two of them will rub together and cause them both to break or slip off
• Never re-use a condom
• Live by the rule “NO CONDOM – NO SEX!”

For more information on use of both male and female condoms visit your nearest VCT, health centers or call the One-2-One hotline.

The ‘period’ (also called menstruation) is a woman’s monthly bleeding. The menstrual cycle is the amount of time between a woman's periods (the cycle is counted from the start of one period to the start of the next). Normal menstrual cycle last for 28 days but for some women it may be shorter, lasting 21 days, while for others it lasts up to 35 days. The normal amount of time a woman actually ‘bleeds’ is between 2 days to 7 days – although it’s important to know this is not actually blood – it is the temporary lining of the womb.

There are different factors that might lead a woman to miss or delay her period. Some of these reasons include:

• Stress
• Change in diet
• Illness or sickness
• Medication and drug use, including the contraceptive pill
• Menopause (usually only in older women – when the body stops having periods)
• Breast feeding
• and, of course, pregnancy.

The surest way to confirm pregnancy is going for a pregnancy test at a family planning clinic. Pregnancy test can also be purchased at many pharmacies – just make sure you check the expiry date and follow the instructions carefully.

Vaginal sex is when an erect penis is inserted into a vagina. Unprotected vaginal sex puts one at high risk because there is exchange of body fluids (the natural lubricant produced by the vagina and the pre-seminal fluid and semen from the man). If the vagina is dry then this can cause friction is making both partners more vulnerable to HIV infection due to the bruising of the vaginal wall.

Oral sex is when a person uses his or her mouth, tongue and lips to lick a vagina or sucks a penis. Unprotected oral sex has minimal risks, however, if one has sores, cuts or open wounds in their mouth, on his penis, or her vagina then the chances of getting HIV/STI are increased. Although the risks are lower than vaginal and anal sex, it’s still advisable to use a barrier, like a condom or dental dam , when practicing oral sex.

Anal sex means when a guy puts his penis into the anus of another person. Unprotected anal sex (meaning anal sex without a condom) is the highest risk of HIV infection because the anus lacks natural lubrication and the penis can cause friction resulting  in small abrasions (wounds) putting both partners at high risk of HIV infection. It’s also important to know that the parter whose anus is penetrated is at higher risk for infection. To reduce the risk of HIV infection when having anal sex check out the lubricant section below.

Firstly, VCT means Voluntary Counselling and HIV Testing.

The VCT process usually takes about 45 minutes and confidentiality is highly maintained. When one gets to a VCT centre and asks for services one is given a card for identification and is NOT asked their name. Only you and the VCT counsellor will know what happens in the VCT counselling room and no-one will be told your HIV test result.  

Once the counsellor has welcomed you and introduced him or herself, they will start the counselling process in a private room. This stage is called the pre-test counselling and takes about 15 minutes and usually involves discussing issues like:

• what one knows or understands about VCT
• the difference between the HIV and AIDS is discussed
• the different ways HIV can be transmitted
• the client’s risk assessment
• methods of HIV prevention
• discussion of a risk reduction plan
• and demonstration of how to correctly use both male and female condoms

Following this, the VCT counsellor will then ask if you wish to be tested. Testing is completely voluntary and you do not have to be tested if you don’t want to be. If you choose to be tested, then the counsellor will discuss the implications of you having a positive or negative test result, how you would live positively if tested HIV positive and how you will stay negative if tested HIV negative. He or she will also explain the testing process and what this involves.

The test itself involves pricking the tip of the finger to draw a very small amount of blood which is then placed on a test strip. The test is then left for 15 minutes and is then ready to be read.

Once the test is complete, the counsellor will help you interpret the test result and make sure that the result is correct. After that, depending on the result, the counsellor will answer any questions you have a support you to decide what to do next.

Finally, it’s important to know that you can go to the VCT with your partner or your friends and choose to be tested together or separately. Remember, you have the right to be treated with dignity and respect in the VCT. Counsellors are trained not to ‘judge’ their clients – so you can feel safe sharing your personal information and asking those difficult questions!

A lubricant is any substance that a person uses during sex* to make the act more comfortable i.e. to make the act of penetration easier and to reduce friction.

“Sex” in this context can mean: vaginal penetration (where the penis, fingers or other object is inserted into the vagina), AND anal penetration (where the penis, fingers or other object is inserted into the anus).

There are lots of different kinds of lubricants used by lots of different people for lots of different sex acts; but the common ‘lubes’ used by many include:

• Vaseline
• Hand/Body Lotion
• Sun-cream
• Soap
• Spit (saliva)
• Blue Band/Kimbo or other cooking oils
• KY Jelly
• Egg

ALL of these lubricants can cause discomfort, irritation, infection and condom breakage except KY Jelly.

Why?

This is because Vaseline, hand/body lotion, sun-cream, soap and cooking oils are all OIL-BASED.

Oil very quickly acts to decompose latex when they come into contact. This is why OIL-BASED lubes should NEVER be used with latex condoms.
Whilst egg and saliva do no contain oil, they can still cause condom breakage because they dry out very quickly.

KY Jelly, which is a WATER-BASED lube, is safe to use with latex condoms.

The water-based lubricants available from LVCT are called ‘Assegai’ and come in sachets of 5ml. Each is printed with a batch number and expiry date. They contain water, glycerin, starch and preservative. They are non-toxic, non-staining, contain no oils, are pH balanced and 100% condom safe.

who should use lubes?

Since the anus and rectum are not self-lubricating (unlike the vagina, which produces a natural lubricant when a woman ‘gets turned on’), lubricants are extremely helpful for making anal penetration more comfortable and more pleasurable. Though the anus at times may feel wet, the small amount of natural mucus and sweat that are present can lead to discomfort, irritation, and infection without the addition of extra lube. So anyone engaging in anal sex, whether male or female, should use water based lubricants.

Some women, particularly older women, may experience ‘vaginal dryness’, where the vagina does not produce sufficient amounts of natural lube. These women may also benefit from water-based lubricants.

Also, female sex workers, engaging in vaginal sex with many partners, where they do not get ‘turned on’ and thus do not produce sufficient vaginal lubrication, should also use water-based lubricants.

How are they used?

The lubricant should be removed from the sachet and applied to the outside of the condom once the condom has been put on the penis correctly.

If the lubricant is put on the penis before the condom, the condom might slip off during sex.

A generous amount of lubricant can also be applied to the vagina or anus before penetration.

During sex, it is important to check the condom and see if any extra lubricant is required. At least 10mls (two sachets) should be used before and during the sex act.

Finally, it has been demonstrated that the use of water-based lubricants reduces condom breakage and when used in conjunction with consistent and correct condom use significantly REDUCES HIV transmission.