Hello Allan and thanks for your question.

You sound worried about your penis being short. A lot of guys worry too much about their penises; they believe that for a woman to be satisfied a man has to have a big penis - well this is not necessarily the truth. Men like to take that responsibility of satisfying women sexually and when they ‘fail’ then they think or feel they are not “man enough”.

This is an issue which has broken many relationships. This is only a perception and there are so many things men and women can do to satisfy each other sexually if they are willing to talk about it.

There is nothing you can do to increase the size of your penis if you are an adult – the only solution to this issue is to change your perspective – your penis is going to stay the same.

Try having an open conversation about your sex life and this may improve your relationship. Be honest with your partner about your fears and explore different ways of satisfying each other – just make sure all those ways are safe!

Hey there,
Dude! You sound like your life has no direction at the moment but that doesn’t mean there is nothing you can do about the situation!

Let’s have a boy talk… About your lack of talent; I believe that if you are patient enough with yourself you will find out that you are good in what you are doing; failing once doesn’t mean that you can’t do it -what it means is that you will need sometime before you are able to achieve what you want.

Blaming God or anyone else is not going to solve anything rather it will just complicate the issue even more. I will suggest that you take a step back and look at the positive side of your situation, I am sure you can mention some good characteristics and qualities that you have.

Focusing only on those traits you think are negative impact negatively on your life. Most people don’t realize their potential until they see something good in themselves. My suggestion is that you list all your good qualities and strengths and work to improve your self image.

About your request to hook you up with someone; sometimes when we are confronted with challenges we might make decisions in haste without really thinking what will happen - but I am glad that you decided to seek support before doing anything. This is a sign of maturity and shows that you care about yourself and people around you.

Our sexuality is very important; sex is the most precious thing two people can enjoy together if it’s done with the right person and the right time. More often than not people will say many things about sex and sexuality, For example, you will hear people saying being gay is wrong or having sex before marriage is wrong. It will require someone to explore their sexuality and be comfortable with what they choose to do and with whom. It’s only you who can know what you feel and what you are comfortable with.

I will suggest that you think what will happen if you hook up with someone for the sake money/exchanging sex for any favors. Ask yourself whether you want to put yourself in a situation where you don’t have very much power to make decisions in that kind of a situation? Are you ready to live with the consequences of such a choice?

Think about this and make a decision on what you want for yourself. My advice will be that you come clean and talk to your parents or somebody who you trust and will not take advantage of your situation.

Dear Tony,
 
Thanks for your question. I am glad that you know what you want to do and more importantly what is beneficial for you.  It sounds like you have already made a decision to abstain from sex; the question you seem to be asking is ‘how?’

First, it’s important that you think and understand why and how you reached the decision to abstain. Reasons for your decision will greatly affect your ability to stick to this decision.  Some of the questions which you should ask yourself are: Why do you want to abstain from sex? What are you doing at the moment to implement your plan? Is it working? If not where do you think you are going wrong?

If the current strategy you are using is not working then you might consider doing something else.

Buddy! You are the only person who can come up with a strategy to abstain. You understand your life better than anyone else therefore you are best suited person to make it work.

However, I have a few suggestions: Firstly, avoid putting yourself in situations which might lead to you engaging in sexual activity – like being alone with someone you are attracted to! When you know that you are going to be with someone you’re very attracted to, arrange to meet that person somewhere public and with friends.

You also need to remember that making a decision to abstain does not mean you will stop having sexual feelings; you will need to know what to do with your free time, how to behave when confronted or put under pressure or ‘temptation’.

Finally to all young jamaas out there abstaining from sex is the safest way of protecting yourself from unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections including HIV and AIDS. Nevertheless, if one is not able to abstain it is always wise and mature to use a condom. Remember: NO CONDOM = NO SEX!

Hey there. I can imagine how exciting it is for you. Dating always gives us a wonderful feeling and we are left wondering what to do in order to make it last. Dating gives one an opportunity to know the other person much better; this is important before making relationship decisions or commitments.

My little siz, lets have a dating chat! There are several things I’d suggest:

Wear something comfortable; something you like. I would discourage you from dressing to please the other person!
If you are not sure of your date, choose to meet in a public place or bring a friend along.
Be yourself; communicate clearly your thoughts and feelings.
If your date suggests or says something you are not comfortable with then tell him clearly about your feelings.
Talk about things you enjoy, your hobbies, your interests and ask him to do the same.

If you still need more guidance on this I will suggest you talk to someone you trust; may be an older siz about your dating plan, alternatively give me a buzz  at the free One-2-One youth hotline on 0800-22-11-121

Little Siz!

Many of us find ourselves in a haze of confusion when we think someone we like also likes us back.  The big question we all seem to be asking ourselves is how do we know if this person is ‘the one’? The only way you can find that out is to spend time with that person, getting to know them well and seeing if you guys match.

You can not make somebody talk you; this is a choice someone makes and it will be almost impossible to make this guy talk to you if he doesn’t want to. However, by being yourself, being comfortable with who you are and approaching him slowly, you’ll most likely be able to engage him in conversation. Work on that right now and worry about if he’s “the one” after you really get to know him!

Hi, Cool gal!

Thanks for the praise and thanks too for asking this question! Falling in love and out of love is normal and there is nothing wrong with that. It sounds like you have made a decision to let this guy know about how you feel about him.

My little siz, this guy deserves to know the truth and you too need your peace and space. Tell him what you are feeling about your relationship with him; either you can arrange to meet him personally and communicate your feelings or you can give him a buzz and let him know your feelings for him have faded away.  Ultimately you are responsible for the decision you make in your life - and you have the right to decided whom you wanna share your love with - without feeling obliged to do so.

Hi Bro,

Thank you for you question. Falling in love and wanting to be in a relationship is a wonderful and very normal feeling. But even though we might have these feelings it doesn’t always mean that we are ready for a relationship.

The fact that you are worried about what other people will think about you if you started a relationship with the house-girl is an indication you might not be ready for a relationship.

Sexual relationships come with responsibilities which can change your life; unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections including HIV not to mention the effects it will have on your studies.

Little bro, when you are ready to live with the responsibilities that come with a relationship then you are ready for one and if you are worried what other people will think then that’s probably a warning sign not to get involved.

Hi there,

Thanks for your letter. I’m glad that you have trusted me enough to share your concern. It a genuine one and many young people out there may be asking themselves the same question.

Postinor 2 is an emergency contraceptive pill (ECP). Sometimes these pills are called “Morning after Pills”. They work to protect one from conceiving (becoming pregnant) by stopping the ovum (egg cell) attaching to the wall of the womb.

The morning after pill is supposed to be taken within 72 hours after unprotected sex. One pill is taken then followed by the second pill after 12 hours. The earlier the pill is taken within 72 hours the more it’s likely to be effective.

However, the only way to know for sure if you are pregnant is by taking a pregnancy test. I suggest if you miss your next period you visit any family planning clinic for more information and pregnancy counseling and a pregnancy test.

Finally, ECP (emergency contraceptive pills) only protect against unplanned pregnancies but they don’t protect one from sexually transmitted infections including HIV and AIDS.

If one is not able to abstain, using a condom correctly and consistently will protect one from sexually transmitted infections including HIV and unplanned pregnancies.

Talking to someone you trust about what you are feeling might help you cope with the situation, alternatively you are welcomed to give me a buzz at the One-2-One youth hotline on 0800 22 11 121. Our service are confidential and our counselors are very supportive and they won’t judge you.